He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
