im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
