Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
