dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You did what with his pubic hair?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
