and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
porn star boner night. come get it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you had me at cake vodka
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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