Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just had sex bonerless
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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