I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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