Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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