You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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