You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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