I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
