kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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