We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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