when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
