Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
