i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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