Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
