I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it's great music for shaving your balls
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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