Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
