Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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