That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
