can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
