Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
