So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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