im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
