i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
