but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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