We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
