i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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