Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
