just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's shark week go big or go home
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
