Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
