she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I could fuck to npr.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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