So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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