i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
