the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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