Who did Billy Mays play for?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
