your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
