Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
