i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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