Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
