we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
did you just send me my own nude
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
