I faked an abortion last night.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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