Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
