I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
