in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
