Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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