Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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