Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
