Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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