i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
