my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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