Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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