I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
