Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
