but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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