sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think I just sharted jello shots
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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