Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
