Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
