She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
