Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
These tits shall not be calmed
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
